Disney goes with frickin' everything, no matter what
by whatamidoing765
Summary: Hi, I'm Director. Why I'm named that? Because my creator doesn't like giving names. I'll do this thing no one has never done in the history of DW. It's not really THAT great... Shut up. I'm making DW characters sing.
1. Screw Copyright

**I DO NOT OWN DISNEY,DYNASTY WARRIORS,OR the animes and companies metioned in this chapter.**

**Director:Come on, people! I need ideas!**

**Guy:Crossover with BLEACH?**

**Director:TV Toyko is going to be on my ass for that!**

**Guy:Death Note?**

**Director:Too serious.**

**Guy:Gintama?**

**Director:Too silly.**

**Guy:Naruto?**

**Director:Too crappy.**

**Guy:One Piece?**

**Director:Are you trying to get me sued here?This is DW! We can't stick random things on them!**

**Guy:Disney?**

**Director:Yes! Genius! Call the editor and tell 'em we're doing that!**

**Guy:But copyright..**

**Director:Screw copyright!**


	2. You have gotta have seen this coming

**Director:Come on! Let's move! Rise and Shine!**

**Everyone:*groan***

**Director:Stop groaning and get into position!**

I'll Make a Man Out of You

**Sun Shang Xiang as Mulan**

**Zhao Yun as Liu Shang(I thought Liu Bei would work, but he is not badass.)**

**Zhang Fei as Yao**

**Xu Chu as Chein-Po**

**Gan Ning as Ling(I really don't know who could be Ling.)**

**Chen Gong as Chi Fu**

**Sun Quan as Mushu(I don't know anymore)**

Director: Now, Everyone! Lights! Camera! Action!

* * *

Zhang Fei climbs the pole,slips, sticks his teeth on the pole, but still falls. Gan Ning falls back on the pole. Xu Chu falls, making the pole jump. SSX falls on her butt.

Zhao Yun(shirtless,you're welcome ladies.):We've got a long way to go...*takes sticks and throws at the army*

Everyone takes one,Zhang Fei grabs SSX's and trips her with it.

Zhao Yun:Let's get down to buisness!*uses stick to throw up two jars and breaks them*To defeat the Huns.

Everyone:Huh!

Zhao Yun:Did they send me daughters

Gan Ning sticks a bug down SSx's clothes, causing her to move around knocking people down. Sun Quan facepalms.

when I asked for sons?

Zhao Yun: You are the saddest bunch I've ever met.*jumps to where SSX is.*But you can*gets hit*_bet_ before we're through.*grabs SSX* Mister,I'll make a man out of you!Sun Quan does the rolling sleeves Gong makes a note.

Zhao Yun: Tranquil as a forest But fire within*glares at SSX with fruit in the arrow*Once you find the center You are sure to win*repels rocks thrown at him*

Zhang Fei and Gan Ning ready to throw rocks at SSX,while Xu Chu doesn't want to.

Zhao Yun: You're a spineless,pale, pathetic lot And you haven't got a clue *SSX lifts up the bucket up her head* Somehow I'll make a man out of you

Zhao Yun grabs a fish. Zhang Fei and SSX both follow his example, but SSX gets Zhang Fei's foot and pulls him under the water. Sun Quan swims up to her with a fish.

Xu Chu and Zhang Fei run into a barrage of shooting arrows.

Xu Chu:I'm never going to catch my breath

Zhang Fei: Say goodbye to those who*arrow hits his butt* knew me

Gan Ning smashes his head on a block.

Gan Ning:Boy, I was a fool in school for cutting gym

Zhao Yun kicks SSX in the face during sparing.

Sun Quan: This guy got em' scared to death

SSX: Hope he doesn't see right through me

Xu Chu: Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!

(To be a man)

Zhao Yun: We must be swift as the coursing river

Gan Ning knocks down the stand to SSX's cannon.

(to be a man)

With all the force of a great typhoon

(to be a man)

With all the strength of a raging fire

*rocket lands on Chen Gong*

Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!

Mountainside,SSX is struggling with the weights

Zhao Yun: Time is racing towards us till the Huns arrive

SSX falls and can't get up. Sun Quan tries to get her up. Zhao Yun gets her weights and leaves her.

Heed my every order and you might survive

Zhao Yun gives SSX her horse.

Zhao Yun: You are unsuited for the rage of war So pack up,go home,you're through How can I make a man out of you?

SSX looks up at the arrow and attempts to climb. She falls, but she ties the two weights and climbs it.

(To be a man)

We must be swift as the coursing river

(To be a man)

With all the force of a great typhoon

SSX climbs as people looked in awe.

(To be a man)

With all the strength of a raging fire

Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

SSX gets the arrow down.

Everyone is succeding at everything.

(To be a man)

We must be swift as the coursing river

(To be a man)

With all the force of a great typhoon

(To be a man)

With all the strength of a raging fire

Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

Huh! Everyone is in badass-frozen-while-kicking-pose.

* * *

Zhao Yun: Can I put on my armor back on? It is breezy here. Plus I was an asshole in this...

Director: Yeah. You're supposed to be.

SSX: That kick really hurt!

Zhao Yun:Sorry...

Director:It has to be realistic! Now move it! Next Group!


	3. No, I'm not implying anything

**Director: Where the hell is the next group?**

**Guy:We are having trouble getting one of them in.**

**Sima Yi is getting dragged in by two guys,yelling.**

**Sima Yi:I'M NOT DOING IT! **

**Guy : Look,we couldn't get Jia Xiu,so we settled for you!**

**Sima Yi:I'm Jia Xiu's UNDERSTUDY!?**

**Guy:Yes.**

**Sima Yi:WHY? I'm not even simular to him!**

**Guy:You have Disney-villan-vibes like him.**

**Sima Yi:WHAT?!I-*thonk***

**He was knocked out by the director.**

**Director: He is noisier today..proabaly because we almost cast him as Lawrence. Dress him and wake him up. **

***45 minutes later***

**Sima Yi: What the hell am I wearing?!**

**Director pushes him on the set.**

* * *

**Friends on the Other Side**

**Sima Yi as Dr. Facilier**

**Cao Pi as Prince Naveen**

**Cao Ren as Lawrence**

**Sima Yi:*reads script* I sing AND DANCE?! I am out of her-*Director smacks him*Fine...**

**Cao Pi: Stop whining..it's bad enough I have to be turned into a frog by you.**

* * *

**Cao Ren whishpers to Cao Pi. (I don't know what he was saying here)**

**Sima Yi:Don't you disrespect me, little man! Don't derogate or deride!*lights candles***

**You're in my world now**

**Not your world**

**And I got friends on the other side...**

**Chorus:(Door opens) He's got friends on the other side...**

**Sima Yi:(appears behind Cao Pi and Cao Ren)That's an echo, gentlemen,something we have here in Louisiana,little parlor trick,don't worry..**

**Sit down at my table**

** Put your minds at ease (shadow takes and throws out hats)**

** If you relax it will enable me to do anything I please, **

** I can read your future,**

**I can change it 'round some, too,**

** I'll look deep into your heart and soul...**

**Sima Yi:(Points at Cao Ren with staff)You have a soul,don't you,Cao Ren?**

**Sima Yi:Make your wildest dreams come true!**

**I got voodoo**

**I got hoodoo**

**I got things I ain't even tried!**

**And I got friends on the other side.**

**Chorus:He's got friends on the other side!**

**Sima Yi:The cards,the cards,the cards will tell,**

**The past,the present,the future as well,**

**The cards,the cards,just take three**

**Take a little trip into your future with me!**

***points at Cao Pi* Now you, young man,are from across the sea,**

**You come from two long lines of royalty**

***spoken*I'm a royal myself from my mother's side.**

**Sima Yi:Your lifestyle's high**

**But your funds are low**

**You need to marry a little honey whose daddy got dough**

**Sima Yi*spoken*:Mommy and Daddy cut you off,huh,playboy?**

**Cao Pi: Eh,sad but true.**

**Sima Yi:Now y'all gotta get hitched,**

**but hitchin' ties you down,**

**you wanna be free,**

**hop from place to place.**

**But freedom...takes green!**

**It's the green,it's the green,it's the green you need,**

**And when I look into future,**

**It's the green that I see!**

***points at Cao Ren* On you,little man,I don't want to waste much time,**

**You been pushed around all your life,**

**You been pushed around by your mother,and your sister and your brother**

**And if you was married...**

**You'd be pushed around by your wife,**

**Cao Pi and Cao Ren:(You are one to talk...)**

**But in your future, the you that I see,**

**Is exactly the man you always wanted to be!**

**(Sima Yi gets between the two)**

**Sima Yi:Shake my hand,come now boys Won't you shake a poor sinner's hand?**

**(Cao Ren shakes hand immediately,while Cao Pi hesitantly took the hand.)**

**Yes...**

**Are you ready?**

**Chorus: Are you ready?(Snakes tie up Cao Pi)**

**Sima Yi:Are you ready?*pendant floats out of monster head***

**Transformation Central!**

**Voodoo doll chorus:Transformation central!**

**Sima Yi:*puts on skull paint(?)*Reformation central!**

**Chorus:Reformation central!**

**Sima Yi:Transmo-something central!*pendant bites Cao Pi's finger***

**Cao Pi:Gah!**

**Sima Yi:Can you feel it?**

**You're changin',you're changin',you're changin',all right!*green stuff starts to surround Cao Pi***

**I hope you're satisfied,**

**But if you ain't,**

**Don't blame me!**

**You can blame my friends on the other side!*Cao Ren looks in horror at Cao Pi chnaging***

**Chorus:You got what you wanted! But you lost what you had!**

***Sima Yi starts to do the dancing the character does(you're welcome internet)***

**Sima Yi:Hahahahahaha! Hush! *goes dark***

* * *

**Director:Why did you say "something"?**

**Sima Yi:I could not pronouce -what?**

**Director:At least you got the dancing right.**

**Sima Zhao(offstage):Nice moves,Dad!*laughs***

**Sima Shi(off stage):I did not know Father can sing...**

**Zhang Chunhua:(off stage):That is a lovely costume,dear.**

**Sima Yi:*turns red***

**Cao Cao:*trying to hold laugh*It was painful watching you dance...*snickers***

**Director:That was a nice laughter at the end too.I should bring you back next time-**

**Sima Yi:NO.**

**Director:Fine...Next group!**


	4. Cao Cao throwing a baby? Ha!

**Guy: Jia Xiu has entered the studio!**

**Director:I called the man multiple times,and NOW HE SHOWS?!**

**Jia Xiu: Sorry,I was having a killer hangover,so I didn't get your message.**

**Director:I had to use that guy*points at Sima Yi* to replace you!It was not easy getting him to comply!**

**Well, now that you are here,here.*holds costume*Put it on.**

***15 minutes later***

**Jia Xiu:What the hell is this?Is this Zhang He's DLC outfit?(He is wearing a jester's costume)**

**Director:If you had been here earlier,you would have a nice suit and here is a hand puppet of you.**

**Now get out there!**

* * *

**Bells of Notre Dame**

**Jia Xiu as Clopin**

**Cao Cao as Judge Frollo**

**Liu Bei as the Archdeacon**

**Lu Bu as Quasimodo**

**Cao Cao:Why am I an stuck-up evil bastard?**

**Liu Bei:You ARE an stuck-up evil bastard.**

**Cao Cao: You are playing a holy man,and I know you are not holy.**

**Lu Bu:Why am I an ugly person?**

**Director:No one wants to see Dong Zhou getting sympathized.**

* * *

***Chorus***

**Jia Xiu:Morning in Paris,the city awakes**

**To the bells of Notre Dame**

**The fisherman fishes,the bakerman bakes**

**To the bells of Notre Dame**

**To the big bells as loud as thunder**

**To the little bells soft as a psalm**

**And some say the soul of the city's**

**The toll of the bells**

**The bells of Notre Dame**

**Jia Xiu*spoken*:Listen,they're beautiful,no?**

**So many colors of sound,so many changing moods**

**Because you know they don't ring all by themselves**

**Jia Xiu Puppet:They don't?**

**No, silly boy.**

**Up there,high,high in the dark bell tower,**

**lives the mysterious bell ringer.**

**Who is this creature?**

**Puppet:Who?**

**What is he?**

**Puppet:What?**

**How did he came to be there?**

**Puppet:How?**

**Hush,*hits puppet*and Jia Xiu will tell you **

**It is a tale,a tale of a man and a monster.**

***curtain rises***

**Jia Xiu:Dark was the night when our tale was begun**

**On the docks of Notre Dame**

**Man:Shut it up,will you!**

**We'll be spotted!**

**Woman:Hush,little one.**

**Jia Xu:Four frightened gypsies slid silently under **

**The docks of Notre Dame**

**Guard:Four guilders for safe passage into Paris*arrow shot***

**But a trap had been laid for the gypsies**

**And gazed up in fear and alarm**

**At a figure whose clutches**

**Were iron as much as the bells**

**Man:Judge Cao Cao!**

**The bells of Notre Dame**

**(Kyrie Eleison)**

**Judge Cao Cao longed**

**To purge the world **

**Of vice and sin**

**(Kyrie Eleison)**

**Jia Xiu:And he saw corruption**

**Everywhere,**

**Except within**

**Cao Cao:Bring these gypsy vermin to the Palace of Justice**

**Guard:You there! What are you hiding?**

**Cao Cao:Stolen goods, no doubt, take them from her.**

**Jia Xiu:*thunder*She ran!**

**Chorus:Dies irae,dies illa**

**Solvet saeclum infavilla**

**Teste David cum sibylla**

**Quantus tremor est futurus**

**Quando Judex est venturus**

**Woman:Sanctuary,please give us sanctuary!**

**Cao Cao grabs the baby from the woman,making her fall on the stairs and die.**

**Cao Cao: A baby?*unravels cloth*A MONSTER!**

**Cao Cao looks around franticly and sees a well.**

**He goes up to the well and is about throw the baby until...**

**Liu Bei:Stop! Jia Xiu:Cried the Archdeacon.**

**Cao Cao:This is an unholy demon.I'm sending it back to hell,where it belongs.**

**Liu Bei:*cradles women*See there the innocent blood you have spilt**

**On the steps of Notre Dame**

**Cao Cao:I am guiltless. She ran.I pursued.**

**Liu Bei:Now you would add this child's blood to your guilt**

**On the steps of Notre Dame**

**Cao cao:My conscience is clear.**

**Liu Bei:You can lie to yourselves and your minions**

**You can claim that haven't a qualm**

**But you never can run from **

**Nor hide what you've done **

**from the eyes *points***

**The very eyes of Notre Dame**

**(Kyrie Eleison)**

**Jia Xiu:And for one time in his life**

**Of power and control**

**(Kyrie Eleison)**

**Cao Cao felt a twinge of fear**

**For his immortal soul**

**Cao Cao:What must I do?**

**Liu Bei:Care for the child and raise it as your own.**

**Cao Cao:What?I'd be settled with this misshapen-?**

**Very well,let him live with you,in your church.**

**Liu Bei:Live here?Where?**

**Cao Cao:Anywhere.**

**Just so he's kept locked away **

**Where no one else can see**

**The bell tower,perhaps**

**And who knows,our Lord works in mysterious ways.**

**Even this foul creature may**

**Yet prove one day to be**

**Of use to me**

**Jia Xiu:And Cao cao gave the child a cruel name,**

**A name that means half-formed,Lu Bu.**

**Now here is a riddle to guess if you can**

**Sing the bells of Notre Dame**

**Who is the monster and who is the man...?**

**Jia Xiu and Chorus:Sing the bells,**

**bells,bells,bells**

***shows Lu Bu ringing the bells***

**bells,bells,bells**

**bells,**

**Bells of Notre Dame..**

***chorus***

* * *

**Director:*tears*Absoulutely beautiful!*claps* Bravo!**

**Cao Cao:The part on throwing the baby should go to Liu Bei.*laughs***

**Liu Bei:You know that is not true!**

**Jia Xiu:Can I take this off now?But I'm keeping the puppet.**

**Director:Yeah,yeah,sure.**

**Lu Bu:Cao Cao adopting me? Ha! He executed me when I offered that to him.**

**Director:Alright then,can we get the next group here?**


	5. This is getting racist

**Director:Can you get Sun Shang Xiang here?**

**Guy:Why?**

**Director I have another role for her.**

**Sun Shang Xiang walks into the studio.**

**SSX:What is it?My eye hasn't recovered yet.**

**Director:You will put on makeup to cover it up.**

**SSX:I don't want to wear those accessories you are holding.**

**Director:That is the thing,in this,you will put on these and makeup.**

**SSX:I said I don-**

**Director:You get to remove them during filming,that is what your character does.**

**SSX:Ok,doesn't seem so bad.**

***28 minutes later***

**SSX:*has all the things on*Ok,this is bad.**

* * *

**Reflection**

**Sun Shang Xiang as Mulan**

**Sun Jian as Fa Zhou**

**Lady Wu(I know she has no model,but use your imagination) as Mulan's mother**

**SSX:When do I remove these things?**

**Director:Here is the script,you remove the items at certain times.**

* * *

**SSX:*looks at reflection*Look at me**

**I will never pass as a perfect bride*removes earrings and necklace***

***sees Sun Jian and Lady Wu depressed*Or a perfect daughter**

**Can it be I was never meant *releases cricket***

**To play this part?**

**Now I see**

**If I were truly to be myself**

**I would break my family's heart**

**Who is that girl I see?**

**Staring straight**

**Back at me**

**Why is my reflection someone I don't know?**

**Somehow**

**I cannot hide **

**who I am **

**Though I try*bows***

**When will my reflection show?**

***wipes half of makeup***

**Who I am inside?*wipes other half***

**When will my reflection show?*unties hair***

**Who I am inside?**

**She goes outside and sits on a stone bench.**

* * *

Sun Jian:*crying*My daughter,you have the voice of an angel!*hugs her*I would never disaprove of how you live your life!

SSX:I was just acting...

Director:Ok, get this moment moving! NEXT!


	6. Sima Zhao is basically every Disney guy

**Director:Can I get all the women in here?**

**Guy:Umm..**

**Director:You think wrong,guy! I have roles for them and I want to see if they fit the part.**

**Guy:Ok.*leaves***

***30 minutes later***

**Every women from DW appears in the studio.**

**Director:Who in here has a husband or lover or crush that looks like this?*holds up Hercules photo***

**Every women started to blush or cover their eyes.**

**Guy:That is the wrong one,you are holding up a nude painting of Hercules in mythology.**

**Director:*looks at photo himself*Oh! *crumples it up*Heh,I doubt any of your men look like that...**

**Zhu Rong:I wish my husband looked like that! **

**Diao Chan:Lord Lu Bu is basically that picture.*swoons***

**Director:Okaay...anyway,*holds up Disney Hercules photo*anyone?**

**Everyone stepped back, revealing Wang Yuanji.**

**Wang Yuanji:What! I-**

**Director:Your husband looks the closest to _this_ Hercules.*points at photo*Admit it.**

**Wang Yuanji:Well,he does look a little like him..**

**Director:There you go! Get Sima Zhao here ASAP!**

**Guy:Yes,sir!*leaves***

***10 minutes later***

**Sima Zhao:Ok,what is-Gahh!**

**Director gets him and sticks him at the garden where they were shooting.**

**Director:We don't have time to make a statue of you,so you are just going to stand still here.**

**Sima Zhao:But-**

**Grey paint is splattered on him to create the statue look.**

**Director:Pose when you see Yuanji coming across the pond.**

**Sima Zhao:*unamused,spitting paint***

* * *

**I Won't Say I'm in Love**

**Wang Yuanji as Megara**

**Sima Zhao as Hercules**

**Zhen Ji,Diao Chan,Zhu Rong,Zhang Chunhua,Yue Ying,and Zhang He(he is the fat muse) as the muses**

**Director:Wait,what?Why Zhang He?**

**Casting guy:He BEGGED me to put him in there.**

**Director:It was already full!**

**Casting Guy:*shrugs*One more wouldn't hurt.**

**Yue Ying:Why did you put me in here? I'm not the dancing and singing type.**

**Zhang Chunhua:I agree with with her,why me also?**

**Director:First,Yue Ying,you were the only one,everyone had left.**

**And Lady Zhang,you are Yuanji's mother-in-law,I think it is obvious why.**

**Now here,put these on*holds the Greek dresses***

**Sima Zhao:*posing,talking through teeth*Hwow lnng mm ah ginng uoo sannd hrre?**

**Director:2 minutes. Action!**

* * *

**Wang Yuanji looks at a flower dreamly while sitting at a fountain.**

**Wang Yuanji:*snaps out of it*Ugh,what is wrong with me?You think a girl would learn.**

**If there is a prize for rotten judgement,I guess I've already won that.**

**No man is worth the aggravation..**

**The muse statues of Diaochan,Zhurong,Zhenji,Yueying,Chunhua,and Zhang He come to life as she walks past them.**

**Wang Yuanji:That's ancient history. Been there,done that.**

**Yuanji throws the flower,and Zhang He catches it swiftly.**

**Muses:Who'd think you're kidding?**

**He's the Earth and Heaven to ya**

**Try to keep it hidden **

***Yuanji sits down***

**Honey,we can see right through you**

**Girl,you can't conceal it**

**We know how you feel and who you're thinking of**

**Zhang He walks behind Yuanji and waves the flower above her head,but she ignores it,causing Zhang He to sigh.**

**Wang Yuanji:No chance,no way.**

**I won't say it,no,no**

**Muses:You swoon,you sigh,**

**Why deny it? Uh-oh**

**Yuanji:It's too cliche**

**I won't say I'm in love...**

**She walks away and the muses shrugged their shoulders at each other.**

**Yuanji:I thought my heart had learned its lesson**

**It feels so good to start out**

**My head's saying"Get a grip,girl!" **

***muses vocalizing***

**Yuanji turns around,but the muses immediately stand still.**

**Unless you're dying to cry your heart out*vocalizing***

**Muses:You keep on denying**

**How you are and how you're feeling**

**Baby,we're not buying**

**Hon,we saw you hit the ceiling**

**Face it like a grown up**

**When you gonna own up**

**That you got,got,got it bad?*muses hold up Zhang He as he spits up water***

**Yuanji hops from stone to stone across a pond.**

**No chance,no way,I won't say it,no,no**

**She trips and catches the hand of the"statue"of Sima Zhao.**

**Yuanji leaned back on the"statue" and smiled dreamily at"it."Sima Zhao was blushing so much he was shaking.**

**Muses:Give up,give in**

**Check the grin,you're in love**

**Yuanji snaps out of it.**

**Yuanji:This scene won't play,I won't say I'm in love**

**Muses:You're doin' flips,read our lips,you're in love**

**Yuanji:You're way off base,I won't say it**

**Muses:She won't say it,no**

**Yuanji:Get off my case,I won't say it**

**Yuanji sits on the same fountain as before and the muses placed the flower beside her so her hand touches it.**

**Muses:Girl,don't be proud**

**It's ok,you're in love**

**Yuanji:*looks at the flower dreamily**vocalizing*At least out loud,I won't say I'm in*lays on the fountain*love..**

**Muses:Sha-la-la-la*sighing dreamily***

* * *

**Director:Uhh..Zhao?**

**Sima Zhao was still posing,incredibly red in the face,and shaking.**

**Director:Aww,you're happy that Yuanji showed some affection to you. Even though it was acting.**

**Yuanji tries to snap Zhao out of it,but he continues to stand frozen.**

**Zhang Chunhua:He reminds me of when his father married me.**

**Director:Weren't you thirteen?**

**Zhang Chunhua ignored him and watched Zhao try to snap out of his trance.**

**Zhang He:Ah,all of you was absolutely wonderful!*sparkle,sparkle***

**DW women:Uhhh...**

**Director:That's a wrap! Lady Zhang,please remove your son from the set if you can.**

**Zhang Chunhua and Wang Yuanji picked up Zhao(who is still frozen)and left with him.**

**Director:Ok! Next group!**

**Guy:How long are we going to do this?**

**Director:Until the lawyers come.**


	7. See what I mean?

**Director:We are going to get a lot of people for this. Just bring the whole cast in.**

**Guy:*leaves***

***1 hour later***

**Everyone from DW is in the studio.**

**Director:Where is Sima Zhao?**

**Guy:Over there.*points***

**Sima Zhao is holding on to the door while two guys are pulling him.(deja vu,anyone?)**

**Director:That looks familar...Get Sima Zhao off the door!**

**Sima Zhao was pried off the door and is taken to the director.**

**Sima Zhao:I better not be another statue...**

**Director:Oh no,you are doing the opposite of that. You'll be jumping across areas to escape from guards.**

**Sima Zhao:Am I going to be an Assassin?**

**Director:No...**

* * *

**One Jump Ahead**

***In this,the thing stolen is a meat bun***

**Sima Zhao as Aladdin**

**Jia Chong as Abu(I'm going to die, am I?)**

**Sima Shi as Razoul**

**Wei Yan,Meng Huo,Zhuge Dan,Sun Ce,**

**Yue Jin,Zhong Hui,Deng Ai,Wen Yang,**

**Li Dian,Zhang Fei,Guan Yu,Zhang Liao,and Huang Zhong as the Guards**

**Zhen Ji,Diao Chan,Zhu Rong,and Lian Shi as the women Aladdin runs into**

**Zhang Jiao,Zuo Ci,Zhuge Liang,Huang Gai,Da Qiao,Zhang He,Ding Feng,Pang Tong,and Yuan Shao as the random people **

**Director:This is a very big cast...**

**Jia Chong:Why am I the monkey?**

**Director:A real monkey would have ripped Zhao's pretty face off.**

* * *

**Jia Chong covers Meng Huo's eyes with his hat.**

**Sima Zhao:Come on,lets get out of here!**

**Gotta keep*bumps into Wei Yan***

**One jump ahead of the breadline*Wei Yan swings at him*Jia Chong taunts him.**

**One swing ahead of the sword*dodges swing and pulls his belt***

**I only steal what I can't afford(That's everything!)*Wei Yan pulls up fish as pants and hops after him***

**One jump ahead of the lawmen*Sun Ce swings at him,but hits the pole***

**That's all,and that's no joke**

**These guys can't appreciate that I'm broke*knocks down barrel***

**The barrel hits Meng huo,making him fall on Zhuge Dan,Sun Ce,and Wei yan.**

**Wei Yan:Riffraff!**

**Zhuge Dan and Sun Ce:Street rat!**

**Yue Jin:Scoundrel!**

**Meng Huo:Take that!*fruit and weapons fly at Zhao***

**Sima Zhao:Just a little snack,guys*weapons thrown,hits pole he hid behind***

**Guards shaking the bottom of scafold:Rip him open,take it back,guys!**

**Jia Chong jumps ahead of Zhao.**

**Sima Zhao:*jumps*I can take a hint**

**Gotta face the facts*catches Jia Chong and is thrown in the window***

**You're my only friend,Jia Chong!**

**Zhenji,Diaochan,and Lianshi:Who?**

**Oh it's sad**

**Sima Zhao's hit the bottom**

**He's become a one-man rise in crime*Jia Chong takes some grapes from the bowl***

**Zhu Rong:I'd blame parents,except he hasn't got 'em*swings broom***

**Sima Zhao:*gets hat***

**Gotta eat to live**

**Gotta steal to eat**

**Tell you all about it when I got the time!*Jia Chong and him pushed by Zhen Ji***

**The two bounce off an awning.**

**Sima Zhao:One jump ahead of the slowpokes**

**Huang Gai is flexing his muscles,with Sima Zhao hiding behind him.**

**One skip ahead of my doom**

**Huang Gai bends down,revealing him.**

**Next time gonna use a nom de plume(French for pen name)*Tiptoes away***

**Sima Shi:There he is!**

**Zhong Hui,Wen yang,Deng Ai,and Li Dian all crash into Shi.**

**Sima Zhao:*jumping on top of sheep*One jump ahead of the hitmen**

**One hit ahead of the flock *Sima Shi and Deng Ai chase Zhao,throwing sheep out of their way,with Zhong Hui behind them***

**I think I'll take a stroll around the block*jumps over Zuo Ci sleeping on nails***

** Sima Shi and Zhong Hui jumped over Zuo Ci with ease,but Deng Ai trips and sits on him.**

**Ding Feng:Stop thief!**

**Vandel!**

**Jia Chong has jewelry on him,but Ding Feng grabs him by the neck.**

**Sima Zhao:Jia Chong!*pulls him away***

**Outrage!**

**Da Qiao:Scandal!**

**Sima Zhao runs into Zhang Fei and Guan Yu,turns,but sees Sima Shi and Zhong Hui,goes into the doorway with Huang Zhong,Zhang Liao,and Wen Yang in front of him.**

**Lets not be too hasty**

**Zhang He opens the door behind him and picks him up.**

**Zhang He:Still I think he's rather tasty**

**Sima Zhao looks in ultimate disgust and breaks out of his grip.**

**Sima Zhao appears in front of Zhang Fei and Zhang Liao.**

**Gotta eat to live**

**Gotta steal to eat**

**Otherwise we'd get along*Sima Shi,Zhong Hui,Zhang Fei,Zhang Liao,Guan Yu,Huang Zhong,Wen Yang,Li Dian,and Deng Ai surrounded him***

**Guards:Wrong!*all jump at him***

**The guards are in a giant pile,with everyone with a weapon to each other's necks.**

**Sima Zhao and Jia Chong are hiding in vases,while walking.**

**Sima Shi:Get him!**

**The two threw off their disguises and ran where Zhang Jiao was walking on coal.**

**Sima Zhao and Jia Chong both jumped over him.**

**Sima Shi,Zhong Hui,and Wen Yang ran over the coal,yelling as their feet burn.**

**Yuan Shao has a sword in his throat and Jia Chong pulls it out,causing great pain to Yuan Shao.**

**Jia Chong runs up to the guards with the sword.**

**Zhong Hui:He's got a sword!**

**Wen Yang and Li Dian were behind him,terrified.**

**Jia Chong starts to swing the swords around.**

**Sima Shi:Imbeciles!We all got swords!*pulls his sword out***

**Wen Yang,Li Dian,Zhang Fei,Zhong Hui,Huang Zhong,and Zhang Liao:*pulls out their own swords*Yeah!**

**Jia Chong nervously drops his sword and runs back to Sima Zhao.**

**Sima Zhao stops where Zhuge Liang is sitting and climbs up the rope between them and the guards all crash into Zhuge Liang.**

**Sima Zhao:One jump ahead of the hoofbeats**

**Zhuge Dan,Sun Ce,Meng huo,Wei Yan,and Yue jin:Vandel!*blocks his way***

**One hop ahead of the hump**

**Zhang Fei and Guan Yu:Street rat!*blocks his way***

**Huang Zhong,Wen Yang,and Li Dian ran to completely surround him and causing Zhao and Chong to run up the stairs.**

**Sima Shi,Zhong Hui,and Deng Ai:*jumps in front of Zhao*Scoundrel!**

**Sima Zhao:They're quick,but I'm much faster!*pulls Jia Chong into a window***

**Sima Shi,Zhong Hui,and Deng ai:Take that!*swings sword at Zhao***

**Sima Zhao:*grabs carpet*Here goes**

**Throw my hand in, **

**Wish me happy landin' All I gotta do is**

***Sima Shi,Zhong Hui,Deng Ai,and Zhuge Dan all jump at him***

**JUMMMP!**

**Sima Zhao and Jia Chong are watching on the carpet as they see the three hold on to Deng Ai and land into some "fertilizer."**

**Pang Tong sees them fall in,but continues to scoop.**

* * *

**Sima Shi:I hope that stuff is not fertilizer...**

**Director:It's Chocolate pudding mixed with meat.**

**Sima Shi:Even worse...*goes off to puke***

**Sima Zhao:****Hey,*holds fez*this looks like a really tiny version of Father's hat from DW7.**

**Director:Oh yeah...**

**Sima Zhao:*gives the meatbun to Shi***

**Sima Shi:I don't feel like eating...*green***

**Sima Zhao:*shrugs**eats the bun***

**Sima Yi:This was basically Shi and Zhao's childhood in a nutshell...**

**Sima Shi:I did not use guards to chase Zhao down...**

**Sima Yi:Oh please,Zhao had to climb the roof to going under the pond to avoid you. It probably made him how fit he is. Based on your diet,I'm surprised you are actually still fit.**

**Sima Shi:You sit around all day,reading scrolls or whatever you do in that office,I'm surprised on how YOU are fit.**

**Director:Ok,break it up. Take this discussion home and let Lady Zhang take care of you two.**


	8. Funny how most of them aren't married

**Guy:Sir,the Disney lawyers heard of this and are going to sue!**

**Director:Oh,well,let's do one last one. Mulan,perhaps?**

**Guy:You did two Mulan ones!**

**Director:But it really relates,since they're Chinese...**

**Guy:*sigh*I'll go get the cast...**

* * *

**A Girl Worth Fighting For**

**Sun Shang Xiang as Mulan**

**Zhang Fei as Yao**

**Xu Chu as Chien-Po**

**Gan Ning as Ling**

**Sun Quan as Cri-kee**

**Sun Ce as Mushu**

**Chen Gong as Chi Fu**

**Peons and Generics as soldiers**

**SSX:Again?**

**Director:Yes, again.**

* * *

**Sun Ce:Pack your bags,Quan! We're moving out!**

**Sun Quan and Sun Ce high-five each other.**

**Soldiers marching on a mountain.**

**Soldiers:For a long time we've been marching off to battle**

**Zhang Fei:In a thundering herd we feel a lot like cattle**

**Soldiers:Like the pounding beat**

**Our aching feet aren't easy to ignore**

**Gan Ning:Hey!**

**Think of instead, a girl worth fighting for!**

**SSX:Huh?**

**Gan Ning:That's what I said:**

**A girl worth fighting for!*pulls out scroll***

**I want her paler than the moon**

**With eyes that shine like stars**

**Zhang Fei:A girl will marvel at my strength**

**Adore my battle scars**

**Xu Chu:I couldn't care less what she'll wear**

**Or what she looks like**

**It all depends on what she cooks like:**

**Beef,Pork,Chicken**

**Mmmmm**

**The army goes through a river.**

**Zhang Fei:Bet the local girls thought you are quite the charmer*falls in water***

**Gan Ning:*comes out of river,plump with water*And I'll bet the ladies love a man in armor*water squeezes out of him***

**Soldiers:You can guess what we have missed the most,*pass by women in rice patties***

**Sun Ce whistles at the women while Sun Quan looks at him in confusion.**

**Since we've been off to war**

**Gan Ning:What do we want?**

**SSX hides her face from the women.**

**Soldiers:A girl worth fighting for!**

**Zhang Fei:My girl will think I have no faults,**

**Xu Chu:And I'm a major find**

**SSX:Uh,**

**How 'bout girl who's got a brain**

**Who always speaks her mind?**

**Three:Nah!**

**Gan Ning:My manly ways and turn of phrase **

**Are sure to thrill her!**

**Zhang Fei:*pulls SSX close*He thinks he's such a lady killer!*slaps horse,causing Gan Ning to fall in mud***

**Chen Gong:I've a girl back home who's unlike any other**

**Zhang Fei:*to SSX*Yeah, the only girl who'd love him is his mother!**

**Chen Gong glares at him.**

**Soldiers:But when we come home in victory**

**They'll line up at the door*Zhang Fei makes snow-women***

**Gan Ning:What do we want?**

**Soldiers:A girl worth fighting for!**

**Gan Ning:Wish that I had...**

**Soldiers:A girl worth fighting for!**

**Gan Ning,Zhang Fei, and Xu Chu prepare to throw snowballs at SSX.**

**A girl worth fighting...*pause***

* * *

**Director:Are they here yet?**

**Guy:No...**

**Director:Why did you give the warning then? I could have done something longer!**

**Guy:The boss is not going to be happy if you keep on doing this.**

**Director:Phhtt! **


	9. Why do people ask to do romance songs?

**Director:I'm going to do another one!**

**Guy:But...**

**Director:I don't care what the boss thinks! I'm still doing it! Get the next group out here!**

**Guy:*sigh***

***45 minutes later***

**Zhou Yu:*in Pocahontas costume*Why...ugh...**

**Director:You look like a-*sword is thrown at his head*You know what? I'll give it to someone else...heh...*blood trickles down***

**ZhouYu:Damn right!**

* * *

**Colors of the Wind**

**Casting Guy:Zhou Yu...*ZY:AHEM!*-I mean...uhh,god I don't know! Zhu Rong? Yue Ying? Lian Shi? I'm just going to put Lian Shi.**

**Lian Shi as Pocahontas**

**Sun Quan as John Smith**

**Lian Shi:*blushes*This is very revealing...**

**Sun Quan:*blood flowing out of his nose*Y-you look lovely...heh...**

**Director:I think Yue Ying and Zhuge Liang would be better...**

**Casting Guy:Well,it's decided!**

* * *

**Lian Shi:You think I am an ignorant savage**

**And you've been so many places, I guess it must be so**

**But still I cannot see if the savage one is me**

**How can there be so much that you don't know**

**You don't know...**

**Sun Quan goes after her.**

**Lian Shi:You think you own whatever land you land on**

**The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim**

**But I know every rock and tree and creature**

**Has a life, has a spirit, has a name**

**You only think the only people who are people**

**Sun Quan aims gun at bear.**

**Are the people who look and think like you**

**But if you walk the foot steps of a stranger**

**You'll learn things you never knew you never knew**

**Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon?**

**Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?**

** Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain?**

**Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?**

**Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?**

**Sun Quan and Lian Shi jump off a cliff on to a plain,then off a waterfall.**

**Lian Shi:Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest**

**And come taste the sun sweet berries of the Earth**

**Come roll in all the riches all around you**

**Lian Shi lands on Sun Quan. He turns red.**

**And for once **

**never wonder what they're worth*turns to them in the water***

**The rainstorm and the river are my brothers**

**The heron and the otter are my friends**

***laying next to each other*And we are all connected to each other**

**In a circle,in a hoop that never ends**

**The two release two falcons and they fly up on a tree.**

**How high will a sycamore grow?**

**If you cut it down,**

**You'll never know**

**And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon**

**The two are on the top of a cliff.**

**For whether are white or copper-skinned**

**We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains**

**We need to paint with all the colors of the wind**

**You can own the Earth and still**

**All you own is Earth until*pours some dirt on Sun Quan's hand***

**You can paint with all the colors of the wind**

**The two got up and look at each other in the eyes.**

* * *

**Director:The two are looking at each other for a while...hey, are you two done?**

**The two continued to stare at each other.**

**Director:(I should have gotten Sima Yi and Lady Zhang here,or maybe Yue Ying and Zhuge Liang. I just want to see if they will do the"continue to stare at each other longer than needed" thing.)**

**Sun Quan and Lian Shi are about to kiss until...**

**Director:*blushing*Alright! Wrap it up! Come one,let's go! Get a room!**

**Guy:*whispers*The boss is here...**

**Director:Oh,damn it! I thought they would take longer!**


	10. Well, he's lucky and screwed

**The Koei CEO pushes the door open along with some suited guys.**

**CEO:WHERE IS HE?!**

**Director:Uh-oh!*runs***

**CEO:YOU! COME BACK HERE AND SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!**

**Director:I'm going to lose my job,right? I have unfinished business to attend to!**

**CEO:Damn...because of him, we're getting sued...Is there a way to drop this lawsuit?**

**Disney lawyers:Our client only wants your friend that just left. He wants some sense knocked into him, if you comply, we'll drop the lawsuit. **

**CEO:That's it? Well,he's yours. I could care less what happens to him.**

**Disney lawyers:Thank you for your cooperation,we'll retrieve him once we find out his location.**

**The men left the CEO in the studio.**

**CEO:I'm gonna beat his ass when he comes back...**

* * *

**The director is running across China and stops at Wu.**

**Director:Huff...huff...hmm...I should pay my respects to the ladies before I go. Heh...heh...(yes,he's a pervert)**

**The director sees Lian Shi walking along with Sun Quan.**

**Director:Oh,why not? I'm going to lose my job anyway...**

**The director gropes Lian Shi's chest and runs, with an angry Sun Quan on his tail.**

**Director:Those WERE real? By the way,you have a nice ass! Haha!**

**Sun Quan:*has the Lu Bu aura,waving sword*Come back here! I shall punish you for what you have done!**

**Lian Shi shoots after him with her crossbow.**

**The director dodges the arrows and stops at Sun Ce and Zhou Yu's place.**

**Director:Get REAL women! I heard Zhou Yu is available!**

**He gets chased by Sun Ce,Zhou Yu,and the Qiaos.**

**SC and ZY:*glowing*GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!**

**Director:You call yourselves men? Ha!**

**The director stops by the soldiers quarters that included Gan Ning, Ling Tong, Lu Xun, and Taishi Ci.**

**Director:GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!**

**He is chased out of Wu by them and runs into Shu.**

**Director:Boy! That was a rush! I want to do it here in Shu!**

**The director runs into Liu Bei's camp and slaps him.**

**Director:I've always wanted to do that!*runs***

**Zhang Fei and Guan Yu chase him.**

**ZF and GY:GET BACK HERE!**

**He goes into Zhuge Liang's camp.**

**Director:Sima Yi and Zhou Yu are SO much better than you! Even Jia Xiu and Guo Jia are better than you! And Yue Ying, call me when you're done with his"beneviolence." I'm sure you need a break from this loser.**

**Zhuge Liang and Yue Ying looked at him in anger and snapped their fingers.**

**He gets chased by juggernauts and tanks(the ones in DW,silly).**

**He runs into the Five Tiger Generals camp.**

**Director:Huang Zhong, you're old,get over it. Ma Chao,there is no justice,Zhao Yun,your life is a lie, Guan Yu, you died with no honor,and Zhang Fei, lay off the wine!**

**He goes back to kick Jiang Wei in the you-know-what.**

**Director: There goes your"beneviolence"!**

**The whole Shu kingdom basically chased him out and into Wei.**

**Director:Alright Wei,than Jin. Where is Jin though? I'll just go through the Sima household.**

**He runs into Luoyang and gropes Zhen Ji's chest.**

**Director:THEY'RE FAKE!*gets hit by flute***

**Cao Pi:*is behind him holding his sword*I'll teach yo-GAHH!**

**The director has kicked him in the family jewels.**

**Director:I never liked you, so here is a goodbye present.*kicks him again***

**The director then slapped Wang Yi's and Cai Wenji's butts and he is chased out of the palace by Wang Yi.**

**He than runs to many officers and insults them.**

**Director:Xu Chu,EAT A GODDAMN VEGETABLE,Yue Jin,you're short,Zhang He,you're gay, Li Dian,you are just weird,Xiahou Dun has Vegeta hair,HI COW COW!**

**Everyone in Wei starts to chase him out and he runs into the Sima household.**

**Director: Okay,last one, who should I-? Oh,hey!**

**He sees Yuanji and decides to slap her butt WITH ZHAO IN CLEAR VIEW.**

**Sima Zhao:HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU"RE DOING!?**

**Director:Bye.*runs***

**Yuanji starts to throw her knives in anger at the director, but he dodges.**

**The director sees Sima Shi,Guo Huai,Wen Yang, and Jia Chong.**

**Director:Sima Shi! Lay off the meatbuns, I can see a belly poking out of there! Guo Huai,take a cough drop! Hey,Wen Yang, how's the weather up there?**

**Jia Chong,KISS called, they want their clothes and makeup back!**

**He gets chased by more Jin and stops at Sima Yi's office. He goes in and gropes Zhang Chunhua.**

**Director:Yep,they're real. Sima Yi, why are you not hitting this? Plus,your hat looks like a boot with chopsticks sticking out, and you look like a horse.*laughs***

**Sima Yi:*glows red and black*HOW DARE YOU!*flips the table and takes out a sword* YOU WILL PAY!**

**Director:What the hell! You carry a sword?! Since when?!**

**The director is about to run until wires come and wrapped his foot.**

**Director:Oh crap!*tries to snap the wire***

**Zhang Chunhua:(her expression is up to you, but either way, SHE IS MAD)*glowing red and black* Clearly,you need some manners. How about I teach them to you?**

**Director:*pulls out army knife and cuts the wire*No, thank you!*gets up and runs***

**The director runs out of the household with Jin hot on his tail.**

**Director:Oh god, I have pissed off every kingdom! Oh well,it was*yells at Jin*WORTH IT! HAHAHAHA!**

**This only made Jin run even faster and almost caught up to him. Each time wires came to his feet, he jumped up to avoid them.**

**Eventually,he came to the border of Wu, but he saw warriors that were waiting for him.**

**The director looked behind him and saw Wei and Jin were still chasing him and decides to turn towards Shu,but Shu was coming towards him. He then runs to the edge of China. But as he jumped, he hits an invisible wall.**

**Director:Oh, damn it! Oh well, I'm just going to die now. It is better than going back to _HIM_. Huh?**

**A blue hole opens under him.**

**Director:What the-AHHHHH! AND HERE I WAS HOPING TO DIE!**

**The hole closes.**

**The kingdoms all stop where he fell and they looked around confused.**

**Elsewhere...**

**The director falls out of an orange hole onto a chair.**

**Director:AHHHH-oh...Where the hell...?**

**The chair in front of him turns to face him, with a man sitting in it.**

**Disney CEO:You are the man that did an unauthorized crossover, yes?**

**Director:Just kill me.**

**CEO:Oh no,I just want to say you had the guts to go and do that. But I have to punish you somehow.**

**Director:Kill me.**

**CEO:No. I'll just fine you because I am just too lazy to do anything else.**

**Director:Here.*drops 300 gold bag item*I'm leaving.**

**CEO:OK...**

**Director:I wanted to die,oh well, I'll go to the boss.**

**KOEI CEO office**

**Koei CEO:He just fined you? The lawyers said they were to knock some sense into you.**

**Director:Can I die now?**

**CEO:No. Can't let you go the easy route. I have something waiting for you to do.**

**Director:AUGGGHHH!**

* * *

**For those who were wondering how was the director able to run for that long.**

**I don't know myself.**


End file.
